Fallout (TV series)

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Fallout (2024-present) is an American television science fiction dystopian drama series, airing on Amazon Prime Video about a post-apocalyptic Los Angeles brought about by global nuclear decimation, citizens must live in underground bunkers to protect themselves from radiation, mutants and bandits.

Season 1[edit]

"The End" [1.01][edit]

Lucy: My reproductive organs are intact. My hygiene well maintained, and yet, I have been unable to find a suitable marriage partner. At least one I’m not related to. And we have rules about that for a reason.
Lucy: [To Chet before opening the door to Vault 32 to meet her future husband] Chet, what’s going on?
Chet: Lucy, I love you.
Lucy: We all know that, Chet. Messing around with your cousin, it’s all well and good for kids, but it’s not sustainable for long-term sexual practice, you know?
The Ghoul: [To bounty hunters right after being unearthed from grave] Well, well, well. Why, is this an Amish production of The Count of Monte Cristo... or the weirdest circle jerk I’ve ever been invited to?
Woody: Get that jelly mold out of here!
Honcho: A feral ghoul can't abide a chicken. If he goes for her, we kill him.

"The Target" [1.02][edit]

Knight Titus: [Running away from a Yao guai (radiation-induced-mutated ursine abomination)] Holy shit. [Repeatedly] Fuck...! Oh fuck! [Repeatedly] No...! [Repeatedly] Fuck...! No!
Chicken collector: [To Maximus after Maximus saved him from a farmer] You, sir, are a scholar and a gentleman. You should be commended.
Farmer: [To Maximus] I’m sorry, okay? Don’t- don’t murder me. It’s just... The guy was fucking my chickens.
Maximus: Okay. On your way, citizen.
Ghoul: [After Lucy shot him with a tranqualizer gun] Well, now, that is a very small drop in a very, very large bucket of drugs.
Dr. Wilzig: [To Lucy after taking a cyanide pill] Vault-Tec Plan D. It was the most humane product that Vault-Tec ever made. It was quick, painless. T-Tasted like banana. I- I was surprised it wasn’t more popular.
Farmer: You're a good person for not shooting me with that gun!
Knight Titus: Oh, Fuck.
Cooper Howard: Well, I'd say come up here and get me, but it's hard to walk upstairs when you're wearing a 12 piece cast-iron skillet set.

"The Head" [1.03][edit]

The Ghoul: Yeah, well, the Wasteland's got its own golden rule.
Lucy MacLean: Oh? What's that?
The Ghoul: Thou shalt get sidetracked by bullshit every goddamn time.
The Ghoul: Well, maybe not, but I’m gonna make myself welcome.
...
The Ghoul: Yeah, well, the Wasteland's got its own golden rule. Thou shalt get sidetracked by bullshit every goddamn time.
Cooper Howard: Yeah, well, the Wasteland's got its own golden rule.
Lucy MacLean: Oh? What's that?
Cooper Howard: Thou shalt get sidetracked by bullshit every goddamn time.

"The Ghouls" [1.04][edit]

Lucy: [To Ghoul] You can’t treat people like this.
Ghoul: Yeah? Why’s that?
Lucy: Because of the golden rule. “Do unto others as you would have done unto you.”
Ghoul: Yeah, well, the Wasteland’s got its own golden rule.
Lucy: Oh? What’s that?
Ghoul: Thou shalt get sidetracked by bullshit every goddamn time.
Bert: Yes, I Am Bert.
Cooper Howard: Well, one good question deserves another. Why the fuck am I doing all the work? Now come on, Vaultie. Ass jerky don't make itself.
...
Cooper Howard: Well, Lucy MacLean, it ain't all canned peaches and marmalade left up here, sweetheart. Sometimes, a fella's got to eat a fella.

"The Past" [1.05][edit]

Lucy: [To Snip Snip (Mister Handy, General Atomics International Mark 4 Robot)] You know, that... that creature that brought me here, he...
Snip Snip: You seem unhappy.
Lucy: He did not treat me very courteously.
Snip Snip: Really?
Lucy: When I pointed out that he wasn’t following the Golden Rule, he put a leash around my neck and he made me drink from puddle water that I’m pretty sure was just some kind of animal pee.
Snip Snip: Well, that is interesting.
Lucy: And I thought I was here to be a sex slave.
Snip Snip: What?! No! What a disgusting idea. I’m simply going to harvest your organs.
Lucy: Huh?
Lucy: I May End Up Looking Like You, But I’ll Never Be Like You

"The Trap" [1.06][edit]

Lucy: [To The Ghoul] I may end up looking like you... but I'll never be like you. Golden Rule, motherfucker.
Troy: Destroying a legitimate business? That's illegal round these parts.
The Ghoul: Says who?
Troy: The government.
Dr. Wilzig: You are a vault dweller, but if you're going to survive, you need to start acting like a surface dweller. Question is, will you still want the same things when you have become a different animal altogether?
Bud Askins: Mr. Howard. Mr. Howard.
Sebastian Leslie: Bud Askins.
Bud Askins: Right.
Sebastian Leslie: Would you mind, you know, doing the butler voice? From the show?
Bud Askins: All right. I only do it for close friends and beautiful women, but you two are already halfway there. [Laughs] Stop it. “I, Bartholomew Codsworth, am ever ready to serve.” [Sebastian laughs]
Sebastian Leslie: Hoo-hoo! Perhaps when you finish your shift, we could head up and party in the hot tub. What do you think of that?
Bud Askins: Oh, no, no. No, thank you.
Sebastian Leslie: No? [Mutters] Okay. All right. Excuse me. Your wine.
Cooper Howard: Well, shit, Seabass. You might be the only one of my invites who actually showed up.
Sebastian Leslie: [Laughs] Yeah. Fucking Hollywood Reds. I’m telling you, radicalism is sweeping through Hollywood like a bad case of the clap. Not our usual scene, I’ll give you that.
Cooper Howard: No, it is not. I think our Hollywood actor friends don’t want to be seen celebrating with the pitchman for the end of the world.
Sebastian Leslie: Oh, you don’t know the half of it. You hear I lost a movie over these ads? Yeah, showed up to set, the actors wouldn’t come out of their trailers. Bonnie Lewis said it was on moral grounds.
Cooper Howard: Bonnie Lewis?
Sebastian Leslie: She’s done more ads than a fucking billboard.
Cooper Howard: Yeah.
Sebastian Leslie: Fucking Hollywood Reds. I’m telling you, radicalism is sweeping through Hollywood like a bad case of the clap. Even got your friend, Charlie Whiteknife.
Cooper Howard: Are you kidding me? Charlie?
Sebastian Leslie: Mm. I served with that guy. They have meetings and everything. It’s a shit show. But you, my friend, you know which way the wind is blowing.
Cooper Howard: And it’s that... a world run by people who wear pocket protectors to a pool party.
Nerd: ...about delivery platforms.
Sebastian Leslie: Yeah, you might be right about that. I mean, I’ve dipped my bits in the same gravy train. Sold my vocal rights to that spinning robot they sell to housewives and perverts. Guess how much they paid me for that.
Cooper Howard: Ten million?
Sebastian Leslie: No, I got 186, pre-tax.
Cooper Howard: Maybe you could’ve asked for more.
Sebastian Leslie: Well, I did ask for more.
Cooper Howard: And what did they say?
Sebastian Leslie: My agent got them to throw in one of those robots. [Laughs] The fuck were they thinking? Every time I walk into my own house, my own voice saying, “Hello, sir, do you want to sit down?” [Laughs] It’s fucking awful!
Cooper Howard: I thought the studio owned that character.
Sebastian Leslie: They did. And then RobCo bought the studio.
Cooper Howard: Mm.
Sebastian Leslie: Listen to me, Hollywood is the past. Forget Hollywood. The future, my friend, is products. You're a product. I'm a product. The end of the world is a product. And for those of us who can successfully embrace that, I'd say the future is golden.
Cooper Howard: [Holds out glass] To the future.
Sebastian Leslie: [Clinks glass] To the future.

"The Radio" [1.07][edit]

Maximus: [To Lucy] You smell good.
Lucy: What? Oh. You want to have sex?
Maximus: You mean; use my cock?
Lucy: Yeah.
Maximus: I don’t know. Uh, that weird thing could happen.
Lucy: What weird thing?
Maximus: Well, it’s just, for some guys... not me... uh, but for some guys, you know, when they make it move, it gets all big and hard like a big pimple and then it pops. And they say it can happen to anybody, but it’s still, it’s... it’s gross.
Lucy: You know, that’s... uh, that’s actually completely normal. It happens all the time. Every time, ideally.
Maximus: I’m a knight. Um, a knight of the Brotherhood. We’re- we’re not supposed to.
Lucy: Okey dokey.

"The Beginning" [1.08][edit]

Barb Howard: A nuclear event would be a tragedy, but also an opportunity. Perhaps the greatest opportunity in history, because when we are the only ones left, there will be no one left to fight. A true monopoly. This is our chance to make war obsolete, because in our current societal configuration, which took shape without intentional guidance, we have friction, we have conflict, and we have war. And war, well... war never changes.

External links[edit]

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